As of Tuesday I am officially a boyfriend. My girlfriend has never had a boyfriend before, which got me started thinking, I have a big responsibility here! Thinking about it, though, all guys have a HUGE responsibility going into any relationship regardless of how many or how few boyfriends a girl has had!
My goal here is not to
provide an all-inclusive list. That would be impossible anyway. I just want to cover a few of the big ones that come to mind.
Some of the verses used in this article are written to married couples, however, if you read past articles on this page (like this one and this one) you will see that Christian romantic relationships should always be purposefully headed towards marriage. Therefore, you should be modeling some marital behaviors now anyway!
So, without further ado, here is a list of some of the responsibilities that a guy has to his girlfriend!
My goal here is not to
provide an all-inclusive list. That would be impossible anyway. I just want to cover a few of the big ones that come to mind.
Some of the verses used in this article are written to married couples, however, if you read past articles on this page (like this one and this one) you will see that Christian romantic relationships should always be purposefully headed towards marriage. Therefore, you should be modeling some marital behaviors now anyway!
So, without further ado, here is a list of some of the responsibilities that a guy has to his girlfriend!
1. He Should Model Christ’s Love to Her
Ephesians 5:25 commands men to “love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her.” Gentlemen, this is a huge calling and a serious responsibility. We are being entrusted with the responsibility of modeling the perfect love of Christ! He is allowing us to be an imperfect example of that!
Marriage is supposed to be a mirror of the marriage Jesus will have with the church one day. Christ loved (and loves) us unconditionally. Obviously, if you are dating/courting, you may not even be “in love” (yet). However, that doesn’t mean you can’t love your girlfriend. The difference being one is a romantic connection and the other is a Christ like attitude.
Loving your girlfriend means you care for her, protect her, and put her needs above your own. [Tweet This] As a boyfriend, you need to be willing to sacrifice for your girlfriend. We are supposed to model Christ’s sacrificial love for the church by sacrificially loving our girlfriends (and wives one day).
2. He Should Set Her Expectations High for the Future
If you are going to get married, you want to show your girlfriend how you plan on treated her as a wife. However, not all dating/courting relationships end in marriage. Sometimes we realize that marriage isn’t in God’s plan between us and our significant other. If that ends up being the case we still have a responsibility for how we are setting our girlfriend’s expectations.
The way you treat your girlfriend now will influence what she accepts and expects later. If you take advantage of your girlfriend, then she will expect other men to try and take advantage of her. If you try to control her, she will expect that from other men. However, if you treat her with loving respect, she will come to expect that! If you lovingly lead her, she will look for a man who will do that!
3. He Should Protect Her Purity
There are several verses about sexual purity. You can read 1 Thessalonians 4:3-5, Ephesians 5:5, Colossians 3:5, and more. However, one of my favorites is Hebrews 13:4 which reads, “Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous.”
“Let the marriage bed be held in honor”. Sexual purity is about more than just avoiding doing something bad. In fact, sexual impurity probably wouldn’t be considered so bad if what it perverts wasn’t so good. [Tweet This] Sex is supposed to be saved for marriage because it is a beautiful expression of love between a husband and wife. It completes the emotional and spiritual connection between two people.
If we take sex outside of marriage, then we are taking this expression of love and abusing it, marring it, dirtying it. [Tweet This] As a man you don’t want to do that. If you don’t marry your girlfriend you don’t want to be responsible for taking a gift that is meant for another man. If you do marry her you don’t want to mar the beauty of what you will rightfully have when you are married.
“Protecting her purity” means avoiding compromising situations, not pressuring her to do something she shouldn’t do or isn’t comfortable with, and holding firm to the boundaries you know are right. A boyfriend needs to protect his girl’s very image. “Abstain from all appearance of evil,” 1 Thessalonians 5:22. Protect her purity and protect her image, brothers.
4. He Should Protect and Defend Her from Danger
Guys, you are, more than likely, bigger and stronger than your girlfriend and, even if she is stronger, you need to practice that sacrificial love and keep her safe! God made men the protectors and defenders. [Tweet This] After all, we are supposed to be the leaders and a good leader will do anything to protect those he is leading.
Just like we mentioned above, we are to love our wives to the point of dying for them. If you are being entrusted with someone’s daughter, if you are being allowed to lead her in a relationship, then you have a responsibility to protect her, too!
5. He Should Make Her Feel Loved
Ephesians 5:28 tells us to “love your wife as you love your own body”. Guys, the women in your life need to feel loved. All of the above mentioned responsibilities are great ways to show love, but it can’t end there. You need to show her you love her with sweet gestures, thoughtful words, and loving actions.
Tell her how you feel about her, leave her a gushy note, buy her flowers, go watch that chick flick. It’s the little things sometimes. Every woman is different and will appreciate different things. Perhaps the most loving thing you can do is get to know her and what she likes. [Tweet This]
In Conclusion
Treat your girl right, gentlemen. Protect her, respect her, love her. Show her what she means to you and show her what she should expect from a man. If you marry her she will love you all the more for it, if you don’t she (and her future husband) will appreciate it and she will hold higher standards for her future.
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Ephesians 5:25 commands men to “love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her.” Gentlemen, this is a huge calling and a serious responsibility. We are being entrusted with the responsibility of modeling the perfect love of Christ! He is allowing us to be an imperfect example of that!
Marriage is supposed to be a mirror of the marriage Jesus will have with the church one day. Christ loved (and loves) us unconditionally. Obviously, if you are dating/courting, you may not even be “in love” (yet). However, that doesn’t mean you can’t love your girlfriend. The difference being one is a romantic connection and the other is a Christ like attitude.
Loving your girlfriend means you care for her, protect her, and put her needs above your own. [Tweet This] As a boyfriend, you need to be willing to sacrifice for your girlfriend. We are supposed to model Christ’s sacrificial love for the church by sacrificially loving our girlfriends (and wives one day).
2. He Should Set Her Expectations High for the Future
If you are going to get married, you want to show your girlfriend how you plan on treated her as a wife. However, not all dating/courting relationships end in marriage. Sometimes we realize that marriage isn’t in God’s plan between us and our significant other. If that ends up being the case we still have a responsibility for how we are setting our girlfriend’s expectations.
The way you treat your girlfriend now will influence what she accepts and expects later. If you take advantage of your girlfriend, then she will expect other men to try and take advantage of her. If you try to control her, she will expect that from other men. However, if you treat her with loving respect, she will come to expect that! If you lovingly lead her, she will look for a man who will do that!
3. He Should Protect Her Purity
There are several verses about sexual purity. You can read 1 Thessalonians 4:3-5, Ephesians 5:5, Colossians 3:5, and more. However, one of my favorites is Hebrews 13:4 which reads, “Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous.”
“Let the marriage bed be held in honor”. Sexual purity is about more than just avoiding doing something bad. In fact, sexual impurity probably wouldn’t be considered so bad if what it perverts wasn’t so good. [Tweet This] Sex is supposed to be saved for marriage because it is a beautiful expression of love between a husband and wife. It completes the emotional and spiritual connection between two people.
If we take sex outside of marriage, then we are taking this expression of love and abusing it, marring it, dirtying it. [Tweet This] As a man you don’t want to do that. If you don’t marry your girlfriend you don’t want to be responsible for taking a gift that is meant for another man. If you do marry her you don’t want to mar the beauty of what you will rightfully have when you are married.
“Protecting her purity” means avoiding compromising situations, not pressuring her to do something she shouldn’t do or isn’t comfortable with, and holding firm to the boundaries you know are right. A boyfriend needs to protect his girl’s very image. “Abstain from all appearance of evil,” 1 Thessalonians 5:22. Protect her purity and protect her image, brothers.
4. He Should Protect and Defend Her from Danger
Guys, you are, more than likely, bigger and stronger than your girlfriend and, even if she is stronger, you need to practice that sacrificial love and keep her safe! God made men the protectors and defenders. [Tweet This] After all, we are supposed to be the leaders and a good leader will do anything to protect those he is leading.
Just like we mentioned above, we are to love our wives to the point of dying for them. If you are being entrusted with someone’s daughter, if you are being allowed to lead her in a relationship, then you have a responsibility to protect her, too!
5. He Should Make Her Feel Loved
Ephesians 5:28 tells us to “love your wife as you love your own body”. Guys, the women in your life need to feel loved. All of the above mentioned responsibilities are great ways to show love, but it can’t end there. You need to show her you love her with sweet gestures, thoughtful words, and loving actions.
Tell her how you feel about her, leave her a gushy note, buy her flowers, go watch that chick flick. It’s the little things sometimes. Every woman is different and will appreciate different things. Perhaps the most loving thing you can do is get to know her and what she likes. [Tweet This]
In Conclusion
Treat your girl right, gentlemen. Protect her, respect her, love her. Show her what she means to you and show her what she should expect from a man. If you marry her she will love you all the more for it, if you don’t she (and her future husband) will appreciate it and she will hold higher standards for her future.
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Don't forget to like The Christian Guy's Life on Facebook for more content!
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