I had a lot more in mind for this section than that one post. I skipped the introduction and just wrote what was on my heart at the moment probably because I needed to. I have never been good at breakups. I despise them. I have had 3 real relationships in 23 years that lasted a collective total of maybe 7 months because I have been trying to avoid the heart wrenching breakups. Obviously, this time it was unavoidable.
There seems to be a lot of interest in this topic of “finding love” though, as expected. We all want it. Honestly, most of us have a real, bona fide need for true love (the romantic kind). God made us that way, so, of course we are interested in the topic! We want to understand it! We want to know what we need to do to find it!
This new section isn’t so much about finding love as it is about discovering God’s way to find love. I know this introduction is a bit late. Hopefully, you will all understand that circumstances dictated this backwards posting strategy. Part of discovering God’s plan for love is discussing how we handle finding out who we aren’t meant to be with. Typically, I wouldn’t have done that first but I was in that moment, that situation. I was hurting. I still am, though it has gotten better with time and thought and prayer. But what better time to write about the battle than when you are in the thick of it?
Anyway, what I really want to do is find how romance is supposed to work Biblically. I have read the Christian books about courting and dating and such but I don’t feel they offer the right solution. Not that they are necessarily wrong, or even that they don’t work great for some people! I am sure they do! But every person and situation is different. The world is different than it used to be.
I am not suggesting that a Christian should let the world dictate how they handle things but we do have to be practical. Just because the automobile is an invention of the world doesn’t mean I don’t use one to get to work. Besides, the Bible doesn’t offer much in the way of premarital relationship logistics. There is plenty to glean from Scripture about how we are to conduct ourselves pre-marriage and such but there isn’t a guide for how the other parts work.
Heck, back in the Bible days arranged marriages and polygamy were common. Polygamy may not have ever been condoned by God but arranged marriages were. Obviously, we aren’t lining up for an arranged marriage (though I wouldn’t be opposed if God arranged my marriage kind of like He did with Isaac and Rebekah). Equally obvious is the fact that marriage is regarded as good by God (Proverbs 18:22). So, then, how do we get to marriage?
It isn’t as simple as courting vs dating. What I want to know is how we are supposed to meet someone in this day and age. How do you meet someone when you aren’t active in many Christian social circles? Guys, you know what I am talking about (as do many of the ladies reading this). We spend a lot of our time working our secular job and when we aren’t there we are probably trying to spend time with our families. There is church but we don’t all go to large churches with other people our age.
Fast forward to the point where you have actually met someone. What now? What boundaries do you set? How long do you date? Do you hold your heart back or go all in? There are tons and tons of questions we all ask, I think.
These questions and others are the ones I want to find the answers to. As much as I long to meet and be with my life partner, I want to please God more. That means pleasing Him before we meet, when we date, and when we are married.
If you are having the same thoughts and questions, if you aren’t content with the ideals and such of others, then please join me in seeking God’s plan for love!