I don’t like dating. However, I find it highly unlikely that I will meet someone that is cool with skipping the whole process and running down the aisle with me (short of getting on that Married at First Sight TV show and… well, it is a TV show where you marry a stranger, after all). So, I am stuck with dating.
Here’s the thing: it is kinda hard to date when you can’t find dates! Never would I have imagined it would be so tough to find someone to take to dinner. I am not even talking about a serious relationship! I am talking about dinner or, heck, I’d settle for coffee! But, alas, here I am having not been on a date 4ish months. Yes, that would be 4 months without a date.
For someone who, at one time, was prepared to celebrate his one-year wedding anniversary on his 19th birthday, this is not fun. You ever seen that meme where God is mixing the stuff in the bottle to make a person and it says “a dash of sexy…oops” and He spills the whole bottle in? Well, if you made a meme like that about me I am pretty sure you could replace the bottle of sexy with a bottle of “hopeless romantic”. That being said, I would really like to get out there and enjoy some, you know, actual romance.
Of course, I have heard all the usual stuff. Go to church, go to the gym, stop looking, etc. Thing is, church, the gym, or anywhere you go, you are not guaranteed to find a date. In fact, going to church or the gym just to find dates is a pretty crappy reason to go to church or the gym. On top of that, not all of us go to a mega church with a gazillion people between the ages of 18 and 26. And I don’t know about your gym but there is a distinct lack of small talk opportunities at my gym. Oh, and that last piece of advice? Let me put it this way, if I hear another happily married/dating/engaged/whatever person tell me to stop looking, I am liable to be typing my next article up on the jailhouse computer (only overnight, of course, because any judge would acquit me of any crimes I commit under those extenuating circumstances).
Basically, I stink at this. From what I can see, though, a lot of people are meeting their significant other through school or through drinking (bars, parties, etc). I am not in school, though, and drinking isn’t my cup of tea (pun intended). I have even tried the online dating thing and that is…. Goodness how does that actually work for people??
Full circle that brings me back to finding dates. I literally don’t have any clue how this works. What’s worse, I am not good at flirting with strangers. Like… at all. Googly eyes or whatever the heck you want to call that look you give someone you like, doesn’t work for me. I had this really awesome, semi-smooth moment a few weeks ago where I tried to ask a girl out and she either wasn’t interested or was too shy to know how to respond. Whatever the case it ended up not leading to dinner… or a phone number. Which was disappointing because it would have made for an awesome “how we met” story…
Since I started this tab y’all have been asking me what the next step is. Truth is, the next step is someone needs to do an intervention for me! Like Kevin James in the movie Hitch, I need serious girl wooing and date winning advice. Actually, before I go asking Will Smith for his matchmaking services, maybe I need to find someone to tell me where to go meet the girl!
Where do you find yourself winning dates?